A
true conversion is often preceded by a profound or normal experience without
which conversion would be a farce. It should be profound like that of St. Paul
on the way to Damascus (Acts 9:3ff). He experienced it on his journey to an
intended destination (Damascus). When we are given the grace to experience the
Risen Christ, we allow that experience to take control over the rest of our
life. Hence this becomes a pattern in our life - from a normal way of moving
about (“a journey to”) to a grace enabled moving about (“a journey for”).
Conversion is grace.
In
every conversion there is a change of consciousness. St. Paul’s consciousness
of being a persecutor changed to being persecuted for Christ’s sake.
His
memory was affected in such a way that he never forgot the risen Christ, whom
he proclaimed in season and out of season. One might wonder what memory has to
do with conversion! Just imagine yourself stuck with the same way of doing
things or desiring yourself to commit to a lasting change but you fall into the
same old rut of doing things or being the way you are without much desired
result. It is because memory is connected with the set categories of your mind
through which you order your response stimuli to every situation, decision and
circumstances. Hence an intellectual conversion is a prerequisite –
strengthening the memory backed up by the will to rearrange the data of good
living.
Hence
we may pray – Strike me hard lest I forget, take control that I can proudly say
‘it’s no longer I but Christ who lives in me.’
